Have a conversation about your own first family and how your parents and other family members communicated with one another. Know and understand your communication style.
This means honoring how each person feels even if you disagree. This allows each person to feel ‘safe’ that they can share how they feel.
Are there certain trigger words? Are there certain times that you feel more overwhelmed or need to continue to have the conversation.
Start to slow down the “spin cycle” so you can give it closer examination. For example, plan to take a timeout. When both people are flooded with emotions your brain is literally on overdrive.
Some people do better at email which gives them the time to share feelings. You can use this a springboard to deeper conversations.
Nothing creates greater intimacy and a stronger relationship when both people feel and say they are on board.
In times of stress, we are flooded with emotions. Each person needs to have the emotional bandwidth. It’s not your partner’s job to manage your emotions.
Nothing says let’s fight more by bringing up all the issues that you feel are still unresolved. When you are in the midst of a discussion, stay on topic.