How to Deal With Disappointment in Relationships

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Verbalize what your expectations are

No one is a mind-reader.  Your partner cannot know what you expect from them unless you tell them.

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Timing is everything

A conversation about disappointment in relationships should be held at a time when you are both calm, rested, fed, and feeling at your best.

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Stay on topic

When communicating with your partner, stick to the topic at hand. If you are going to tell someone you are disappointed in them, it is healthier to focus on the ‘single.

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Learn to compromise

When talking about disappointment, the focus should not be on “winning” the discussion but on sharing your feelings with your partner so that he understands your viewpoint.

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Never take things personally

When your partner does not meet your expectations, you may tend to internalize their actions.  Let’s say you were expecting your new boyfriend to make plans with you for the weekend.

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Look for effort, not perfection

With the above example, your spouse may slip up from time to time.  When they neglect to take the trash out, instead of an exasperated sigh, just remember:  nobody’s perfect.

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Don’t assume their worldview is similar to yours

A lot of times, we experience disappointment in relationships because we think the other person sees things and cares about things as we do.

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Be the person you’d like to be in love with

Similar to the point above, become the person who will not disappoint you.  You cannot control a partner’s actions, but you can control your own.

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Ways of Being Independent in a Relationship

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